2002-10-12
1:12 p.m.

So, I have a little story. It's a funny story. I've been meaning to write it down and haven't yet, so I thought I would put it on my online diary.

The last time I was in Chicago was in March. It was a great trip. I visited an old roommate from college. We went out, did brunch, and saw Jeanne Garafolo perform stand up. I think the funniest part of the trip was what happened to me on my way home.

I had a Sunday evening flight back to Columbus. Because all of the rules at the airports these days, I arrived to the Chicago airport two hours early. I don't know what the deal is, but apparently no one flies on Sunday nights anymore. Or maybe it was because the Oscars were on. I don't know. The airport was dead. There were no lines to wait in and I found myself with two hours to kill.

What else is there to do in an airport but drink at the bar? So that's excatly what I did. I pulled up a seat at the bar, ordered a drink, and watched the telecast of the Academy Awards on the bar TVs. I started talking to the guy sitting next to me and then decided that it would be fun to start a drinking game. I turned to the guy and said, "Ok, this is what we're gonna do. We're gonna guess who will win each award as they come up and if we guess wrong, we have to drink." It's an award show drinking game that I have been playing for years with the roommate I just visited. The Golden Globes Show is the best one to play it to because most of the celebrities in the audience are just as drunk as you are.

Anyway, the guy agreed to play the game and we even got a couple of other people to play, too. I don't know what my problem was, but I could not guess the winners of this year's Academy Awards for the life of me. I kept thinking "Amelie" would sweep the show. Of course, it didn't help that I was picking it for categories in which it wasn't even nominated.

So, I got drunk. Just as I was about to order another drink, I glanced at my watch and realized I had 10 minutes before my plane would take off. I pay my tab and as I am walking down to the gate, I hear my name over the loud speaker. "Will Kevin A please come to Gate E14. Gate E14."

I stumbled to the gate and asked if I was in trouble. The airline guy assured me that I wasn't late or anything. It was just that the plane was early and everyone had already checked in, so they could have left early. Like 20 minutes early. So, everyone else was on the plane for 20 minutes waiting for me. Just me. I was so embarrassed.

So, I walked onto the plane and everyone started applauding for me. Because I was drunk, I took a bow and greeted everybody. I am surprised I didn't run up and down the aisle and give everyone a high five.

I finally took my seat and the girl in front of me, who is on her mobile, turned around and asked me if I am Kevin. I just nodded my head and she got back on here phone and said, "Alright Kevin is here, we have to go now. I'll call back when we land."

It was pretty funny. Who do I think I am? It's not like I go around saying stuff like, "We will leave when I am ready to leave, ok Chicago?"