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2003-12-13
4:21 p.m.

Well, today is my birthday. So far, it has been an ordinary day. The partying and real celebrating will get under way at the big birthday blow-out tonight. I'm excited to debut my black t-shirt with a tuxedo shirt printed on the front. It is pretty tacky and very eighties. I love it.

I can't believe I am now 25. I have been joking that I never thought I would be this old, but the truth is I have imagined the age 25. It just didn't look anything like this. I am not one to have regrets or anything like that, but I just have no idea what the hell I am doing with my life at the moment. I say I have plans, but nothing is really set in stone. I thought I would have everything in order by now and would be rich. I went to college, got my degree in four in years. I thought everything would just fall into place.

That's the thing no one really tells you. Even when you do everything you are supposed to do, there's always more you should be doing. But no one really knows what "more" is. It's just something you need to find out for yourself. I feel like it's even more difficult for me because I'm not willing to settle. I know the great things that my life is (will be) about. I just need to find a way to get there. If only there was a short-cut.

Your 20's all about figuring out who you are, and that's what I'm doing and have been doing. These last five years have been great, but I have a feeling that the next five are going to be really amazing. I'm going to have a direction. I'm still not sure if it's east or west, but I know there's not much here for me in the middle.

By the time I'm 30, I'll have it all figured out...