New Releases - Old Favorites - Bio - Cast Notes - Guestbook - Fan Mail - The Studio

2000-03-01
21:07:39

Ok it feels like I haven't written since like 1987. Maybe not that long, but you know what I mean...

So........ I feel like I'm drowning again. I haven't been paying much attention to my school work. I have been paying way too much attention to a new friend. He's known me for a while, even though I had no idea who he was. (It's hard being famous) So last week we became friends and really hit it off. I mean, REALLY hit it off. I hadn't felt this close to a person in a long time. Actually, I don't know if I have ever felt this close to a person I barely know. I barely knew him at the time, but not I feel I know him very well. As always with me, I began to feel something else for this person. Something a little more than friendship if you know what I mean. And these past couple of days, the friendship seemed be moving into the direction of the "more with just friends" stage. Even though it happened fast, I was pretty happy about it.

Now let me tell you one more thing about this story: My new best friend has a boyfriend in Mexico. I've known about this boyfriend the whole time. When things started going in a new direction, I should've stopped it. I know he should've stopped it, too. It's just so hard to stop something that you don't want to stop. We didn't even have sex or anything, but you still know what I mean.

Ok so now I feel things are a little bit strange. I don't want things to be weird, but I'm afraid that that's the way it's going to get.

I should've been just a friend, and I feel like I crossed a line. Oh well.

This always happens to me, it seems. I meet someone that I really want things to happen with and there's always a condition.

I don't know what's going to happen next,and I think that scares me the most.

Oh well...

Until then, I guess I better go the homework that I've been avoiding all week...

Next week (spring break) is not coming fast enough...